Inspirational stories of God's love and grace...

The last four years, I prayed daily for God to show me a way to live my life so that I could get through it without fear and hatred being my chief motivators. A messy divorce with children will do that – oh yes it will. My prayers last-miled from ‘Make Me Win’ to ‘Help Me Get Through The Day’ to finally and blessedly – ‘Open My Eyes To a Better Way.’

I downsized my life to pay whopping debts and legal bills. I sold my car and took the bus. The walks to and from the bus stop took 20 minutes each way. The early morning hours and the evening sky opened city girl senses to sights and sounds of nature and I had opportunities for quiet communion with a God bigger than my studio apartment. Within a few months, I sang hosannas to and from home. One of them to the tune of South Pacific’s ‘I’m in Love with a Wonderful Guy’ – my version – ‘I’m in love with my wonderful Life.’

When I first started riding the bus, I was resentful. I didn’t really want to relate to people – just go to work, come home, pig out, and pull the covers over my head. As my eyes opened, I met people who would sit next to me and strike up a conversation, ‘What about this weather? What book are you reading? What do you do for a living?’

All those innocuous, superficial topics unioned bonds with people changing jobs in midlife, bright teens with a concern for their world, elders with humorous wisdom, and ‘don’t get me started’ labor stories with pregnant women. (I’ve had 4 births – one a hippie birth on a futon with The Beatles’ ‘Sgt Pepper’ album blaring from the turntable –– see, you got me started!) Innocuous questions opened my eyes to one of God’s most precious gifts – connection with one another.

Surprisingly, I experienced some disapproval from friends who supported me in my angry and vengeful thoughts. As I listened to them, I started to doubt that this opportunity had actually happened. I must be making this up. Good things can’t happen to me – I’m not supposed to be happy. My job is to dig in, survive, and resent those who have it better than me.

I’d forgotten that ultimately my life and my life’s journey is between God and me. And
in that process, I need to make sure that I keep myself and my environment such that if opportunity comes where I can sing songs of joy – I better make sure that I’ve got my pitchpipes warmed up and ready to go when the conductor raises his arms.

A prayerful life requires attention. Sinking below that life is very easy. There is a great deal of company. But the more that I daily practice staying awake, the more I see other people rubbing the sleep from their eyes.
I’m in love with my wonderful life!